Take control of mediation with multiple plans and handouts.
Posted September 1st, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
When a court assigns parents to go to mediation, many moms and dads do so reluctantly. They’re convinced that “he’s a fighter and he won’t agree to anything” or “she’s thinks fathers are incapable of raising children. It’s a waste of time.” But there is a way to win at mediation! Most mediations begin with […]
Read MoreDealing with “bad apples”….Evidence of neglect, abuse, criminal convictions and subtance abuse can prove your opponent’s unfitness.
Posted August 31st, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Most courts endeavor to grant joint custody — at least in most cases. The prevailing wisdom has been that children deserve to have relationships with both parents, and they will benefit emotionally, psychologically, socially and intellectually from having two parents in their lives. Some cases, however, involve a “bad apple” — a parent who does […]
Read MoreSpecify the child’s school in the custody agreement or court order
Posted August 30th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
To improve your claim to primary custody, be sure to specify the name of your child’s school in any custody agreement or mediation settlement you sign. If the court will be entering a custody order, ask the judge to identify the specific school the child will be attending as part of the order. This additional […]
Read MoreTen questions to ask to save yourself money in a custody fight
Posted August 29th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Before you retain an attorney to wage a custody fight, you should ask a series of questions that will help you manage your costs. Contested child custody cases have the potential to be the most expensive kinds of family law cases, and often attorneys are not very clear about the potential fees and costs. Here […]
Read MoreTop 10 Automobile-Related Signs That Your Spouse is Cheating
Posted August 27th, 2016.
Categories: Divorce, Family Law.
1. NEEDING GAS MORE OFTEN. The primary driver of the vehicle seems to be pumping gas much more often than usual because he or she is running out of gas (or consuming gas) much faster. 2. ODOMETER HAS JUMPED FORWARD. The amount of mileage on the car has suddenly increased significantly in a short period […]
Read MorePrepare to Prove Your Stability
Posted August 27th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Judges in Family Court prefer parents who demonstrate a history of stability — not just in their thinking and speaking, but in their actions over time. As such, you can improve your position in a child custody case by preparing to prove your stability. (Conversely, you may score points by proving the other parent’s instability). […]
Read MoreTop 10 “Physical Evidence” That Your Spouse is Cheating
Posted August 26th, 2016.
Categories: Divorce, Family Law.
1. CREDIT CARD RECEIPTS. Perhaps the most notorious evidence are credit card statements and receipts revealing dinners, taxis, travel, flowers, gifts, or purchases that did not involve the other spouse. 2. BANK STATEMENTS. Monthly statements from banks provide detailed accounting of purchases on bank-issued debit and credit cards. Unusual withdrawals or changes in bank balances […]
Read MoreAvoid unsupervised gaps in child’s schedule
Posted August 26th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
One of the loose ends that often explodes into a controversial issue in Family Court is when a young child is being left alone for a period of time because of his parents’ work schedule or other obligations. Consider, for example, the case in which the children are delivered home by the school bus at […]
Read MoreTop 10 Cell Phone Signs of a Cheating Spouse
Posted August 25th, 2016.
Categories: Divorce, Family Law.
1. SECRET CELL PHONE PURCHASE. When your spouse buys a new cell phone unnecessarily or without telling you about it. 2. SUDDENLY HIGHLY POSSESSIVE. When your spouse becomes suddenly highly possessive of his or her phone and won’t let anybody else use it, touch it, hold it or answer it. When they seem very much […]
Read MoreSeven Ways to Snag a Deadbeat Parent Who Won’t Pay Support for a Child
Posted August 25th, 2016.
Categories: Child Custody, Divorce, Family Law.
When a deadbeat dad or a deadbeat mom refuses to pay child support, it’s typical for the other parent to file a motion in court asking the judge to enforce the support order. Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn’t work. But there are actually at least 7 different get-tough maneuvers available to parents who are […]
Read MoreDon’t become the “fun parent”
Posted August 25th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
When parents split up, the primary custodial parent usually assumes the role of disciplinarian, schedule manager, and chief enforcer. In many cases, children look to the custodial parent (often their mother) for structure, rules, and deadlines. The non-custodial parent (often the father) becomes the counterpart: the easy-going, carefree, “fun parent” with no boundaries. When kids […]
Read MoreTop 10 “Sexual Signs” That Your Spouse May Be Cheating
Posted August 24th, 2016.
Categories: Divorce, Family Law.
1. SEX NOT NECESSARY. When your spouse seems ambivalent about rejection. In the past, he may have insisted on sex, but now he’s less interested or quick to cave in when you’re not in the mood. 2. NO LONGER IN THE MOOD. When your spouse begins to continuously lack interest in sex, and has poor […]
Read MoreFour ways to use counseling as a tactical procedural device.
Posted August 24th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
The judge has ordered the parents to submit to counseling before he makes a final custody decision. Now what? You could simply wait for a counselor to be selected and attend a counseling session once you receive notice to do so. Or you could take control of the four big issues from the outset. Issue […]
Read MoreTop 10 “Behavioral Signs That Your Spouse May be Cheating
Posted August 23rd, 2016.
Categories: Divorce, Family Law.
1. ENCOURAGING YOU TO TAKE TRIPS. When your spouse actively or openly accepts your desire to take trips without him, or seems to encourage you to travel alone or with others in order to leave him alone, or in an empty house. 2. EASILY PRONE TO ARGUMENTS. When your spouse starts arguing over seemingly innocuous […]
Read MoreA Negotiating Tool for Your Divorce Case: The Debt-to-Asset Ratio
Posted August 23rd, 2016.
Categories: Divorce, Family Law, The Calculating Lawyer.
In considering a spouse’s entitlement to support or an award of counsel fees, courts generally examine a number of factors, such as the richer spouse’s ability to pay, the dependent spouse’s financial need, the parties’ access to other financial resources and liquid assets, and whether they each exercised good faith or bad faith in the […]
Read MoreDon’t badmouth the other parent when you meet with the custody evaluator.
Posted August 23rd, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
In our zeal to win our child custody cases, we sometimes find it difficult to resist the urge to badmouth the other side. But be forewarned: It is a bad idea to defame your ex-husband or your ex-wife when you meet with the custody evaluator, the neutral psychologist or the guardian ad litem appointed by […]
Read MoreTop 10 “Electronic” Signs That Your Spouse May Be Cheating
Posted August 22nd, 2016.
Categories: Divorce, Family Law.
1. EXCESSIVE USE OF THE INTERNET. When your spouse begins using the computer later and later into the night, particular after you go to bed. 2. PASSWORD PROTECTIONS. When open access computers and laptops are suddenly password protected by your spouse. 3. QUICK SHUT-DOWNS. When you observe computer screens minimized or shut down swiftly whenever […]
Read MoreIntroducing…Sextortion!
Posted August 22nd, 2016.
Categories: Criminal Defense, Domestic Violence, Family Law.
Not only is New Jersey expanding its statutes to outlaw coercive criminal misconduct, federal legislators are also apparently looking into it. The Interstate Sextortion Prevention Act has been introduced by a Congresswoman from Massachusetts to punish the “interstate coercion of sexual acts, sexual contact or sexually explicit visual depictions and for other purposes.” Under the […]
Read MoreFive other things to do before a home inspection
Posted August 22nd, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
If the court orders a home inspection as part of a child custody case, it goes without saying that you should tidy up your home and remove any dangerous conditions. Here are some “advanced” techniques for preparing for a home inspection that might help you gain an edge in your custody case. Obtain a copy […]
Read MoreAnother Tool to Capture Child Abductors
Posted August 21st, 2016.
Categories: Criminal Defense, Family Law.
Criminal prosecutors, as well as family lawyers on the civil side, use a variety of legal strategies to locate missing and abducted children and to bring them home to their legal parents. Now, the Internal Revenue Service is using tax returns to ferret out information that might provide useful clues in ongoing investigations. A new […]
Read MoreWhat is a Psychological Parent?
Posted August 20th, 2016.
Categories: Child Custody, Family Law.
Is it possible for an adult who has no biological connection to a child to be granted custody? The answer is yes – if the adult is deemed a “psychological parent” of the child. A psychological parent can come into a child’s life in many ways, such as, for example, when a biological mother gives […]
Read MoreWhen in need, you can invoke the Court’s P-P Power
Posted August 20th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
When Barbara was 15 years old, she had a child out of wedlock. The State of New York terminated Barbara’s parental rights, and put the child up for adoption. Unfortunately, four years later, the child was still in New York’s foster care system, a ward of the state, and had not been adopted by anybody. […]
Read MoreDon’t switch lawyers too hastily
Posted August 19th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Because child custody disputes are among the most contentious and emotional forms of litigation, parents often become dissatisfied with their lawyers and they switch counsel. Sometimes this is necessary, but often it is is not. The most common reasons for dissatisfaction with lawyers are (a) failure to return phone calls or to otherwise keep the […]
Read MoreDon’t allow your children to write to the judge.
Posted August 18th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Sometimes parents think they can improve their chances in a child custody case by having their children write letters to the judge. Not a good idea. First, whenever a judge receives correspondence from one of the parties, he’s required to share the document with all of the parties in the case. Many judges will simply […]
Read MoreBuild relationship between children and your new partner
Posted August 17th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
It goes without saying, but you should make every effort to develop a solid relationship between your children and your new spouse or “significant other.” Surprisingly, many child custody cases continue to be built around the children’s difficulty in dealing with another adult figure in the house. Bad relationships between children and stepparents can contaminate […]
Read MoreUse Case Management Orders to your strategic advantage.
Posted August 16th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
If you’re involved in a complex child custody case, or a protracted fight over visitation and parenting time rights, ask the court to enter a Case Management Order to supervise the progress of your case. A Case Management Order is an order that sets the deadlines for naming your witnesses, conducting pre-trial discovery, taking depositions, […]
Read MoreGet the other parent to admit all of their screw-ups
Posted August 15th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
One of the most frequently ignored tactics used in pre-trial discovery is known as a “Request for Admissions.” This device is used to get the other side to admit to certain things, which you can use to your advantage in a child custody case. A Request for Admissions is a written list of statements which […]
Read MorePrevent custody orders from being easily modified or appealed
Posted August 13th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
There really is no statute of limitations on a child custody case….as long as the child remains a child, that is. The question of custody and visitation rights remains subject to change until the child turns 18. Of course, this can be a major problem for the parent who is happy with the current custody […]
Read MoreRun a background check on other parent’s new partner
Posted August 12th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
People love to discredit the new boyfriend or the new girlfriend of their ex-wives and ex-husbands. New partners can never understand what he’s like or what she’s like. And new partners are always accused of being incompatible with the children. Rather than simply pointing fingers and quietly defaming each other, it is often useful to […]
Read MoreHow to Cross-Examine the witnesses against you.
Posted August 11th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
If you are representing yourself in Family Court, you may eventually be confronted by hostile or adverse witnesses who wish to testify against you. If the court permits the other parent to call his or her witnesses to testify, you will be given an opportunity to cross-examine those witnesses. Too often, that opportunity is squandered […]
Read MoreDon’t allow ping-pong visitation schedules
Posted August 10th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Kids don’t like to live out of suitcases. If your custody and visitation plan is so complicated that the children are constantly shuffling between their parent’s homes, they’ll soon resent both parents for subjecting them to the process. A visitation schedule that has children switching addresses like a ping-pong ball in constant movement ultimately does […]
Read MoreSplit custody or joint custody?
Posted August 9th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Parents involved in child custody disputes are often confused by the terms split custody and joint custody. Split custody refers to situations in which there are multiple children. In a split custody arrangement, one parent has legal and physical custody of one child, while the other parent has legal and physical custody of the other […]
Read MoreHow well have you thought out the sleeping arrangements?
Posted August 8th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
If you’re a custodial parent, you’ve undoubtedly assigned a bedroom or bedrooms to your children. Still, you must remain vigilant about sleeping arrangements in your home. And you must always be thinking about your children’s ages and their needs for personal privacy. Older children should not be sleeping in the same bedroom, especially if they’re […]
Read MoreDon’t let the obstructionists chase you away!
Posted August 6th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
There’s a lesson that can be learned from the case of B.D.C., a child in Georgia. In the 1980s, B.D.C.’s mother got custody of the child. Together, with her parents, they obstructed the father’s access to the child. When the father left messages on the answering machine, the child never got the messages. The grandparents […]
Read MoreExtreme religious practices can harm your chances for full custody
Posted August 5th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
There’s nothing wrong with being a religious family, and in fact, spiritual devotion may improve your claim for custody of your children. However, if you or the other parent follows any extreme religious practices that my be dangerous to a child, your faith may stand in the way of your case for custody. Indeed, radical […]
Read MoreKnow your child’s religious preferences
Posted August 4th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Children have a constitutional right to the free exercise of religion, just like their parents. For this reason, parents should not automatically assume that a child’s religious preferences will mirror their own preferences. Especially with older children, parents should not assume that the children are simply following the faith they were born into. A Family […]
Read MoreDon’t meet your attorney at the courthouse. Meet him somewhere else — earlier!
Posted August 3rd, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
In the mad rush to Family Court hearings, attorneys and their clients frequently fail to make clear arrangements to prepare for court, before they get to the courthouse. Often, this won’t matter, particularly if the attorney is a seasoned pro, and if the nature of the hearing does not require any testimony from the client. […]
Read MoreA Bill for Those Who Kill: Termination of Parental Rights!
Posted August 2nd, 2016.
Categories: Family Law, Parental Rights.
On April 12, 2013, Darrin Plumlee of Folsom, New Jersey repeatedly stabbed to death his 30-year-old fiancé as their toddler daughter, Addison, slept in the next room. Plumlee was soon arrested, and he pleaded guilty to aggravated manslaughter in exchange for a 24-year prison sentence. But he refused to give up his parental rights to […]
Read MoreBe careful how much authority you give to your attorney.
Posted August 2nd, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
An attorney can only go so far. If you ask your lawyer to negotiate on your behalf in a child custody or visitation dispute, he or she can only make such offers as you authorize in advance. The general ethical rule among attorneys is that an attorney may not make an offer he has not […]
Read MoreIf your custody case is a tough one, try “co-mediation.”
Posted August 1st, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Mediating custody disputes is a common practice around the country these days. But what about co-mediation? Co-mediation refers to the process of using two mediators at once. It is a controversial idea, but it seems to work in some of the tougher, more difficult child custody cases. In co-mediation, one of the mediators is usually […]
Read MoreYour Right to Your Baby. Your Right to a Lawyer.
Posted July 30th, 2016.
Categories: Child Custody, Family Law.
The Supreme Court of New Jersey has again recognized the important constitutional right to appointed counsel in a parental termination case – this time in a case involving a contested private adoption. In The Matter of the Adoption of a Child by J.E.V. and D.G.V., decided July 26, 2016, Chief Justice Rabner, writing for a […]
Read MoreMore Training for Lawyers on Domestic Violence
Posted July 30th, 2016.
Categories: Domestic Violence, Family Law.
Most experienced family lawyers are skillful at handling domestic violence cases, but some of the people on court committees and legislative panels think it may be time for some retraining. They may not be wrong. After all, on August 10, 2015, the New Jersey Prevention of Domestic Violence Act was expanded to include two more […]
Read MoreDon’t make private deals that alter the custody order, without obtaining a new court order.
Posted July 30th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Here’s a real case that’s happening in my office right now: A father and a mother went to court fighting over custody of their son. They were never married, and had not lived together for an extensive period of time. They were quite young. By all appearances, their anger and uncertainty over the breakup of […]
Read MoreHold a meeting of witnesses a few days before trial.
Posted July 29th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Child custody trials are usually dominated by the testimony of witnesses. Family members, friends and neighbors, teachers, counselors, church leaders and community members may all be called to the witness stand in a contested case. Unlike civil cases which may rely heavily on documentary evidence or criminal cases which may rely on tangible real evidence […]
Read MoreIf the other parent makes a ridiculous request, ask for attorney’s fees.
Posted July 28th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Often, one of the parents in a child custody case makes an utterly ridiculous motion. It may be the non-custodial parent asking the court to transfer full custody of the children to him because he heard a rumor that the custodial parent wasn’t feeding them well. Or, it may be the custodial parent asking the […]
Read MoreBefore you die….know this: You can’t give your kids away in your Last Will and Testament.
Posted July 27th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Many people have the strange belief that they can give their kids away in their Last Will and Testament in the same way they would bequest a car or a piece of valuable jewelry. Children are not property, however, and you cannot simply “will them” to your next of kin or your most trusted friend. […]
Read MoreI Can’t Pay My Bills! Which Spouse Is REALLY In the Better Financial Position?
Posted July 26th, 2016.
Categories: Family Law, The Calculating Lawyer.
Husband and Wife have split up. Now they’re living in two households. And each of them is complaining that they don’t have enough money to pay their bills. Molly, the wife, wants alimony because she cannot pay her rent or her credit card bills in order to sustain her marital lifestyle. Henry, her husband, says […]
Read MoreDoes it really matter who has the most money? Who has the biggest house?
Posted July 26th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
The economic circumstances of the parents are a consideration in determining who gets custody of the children, but they are rarely the main consideration and frequently not even a major consideration. It really doesn’t matter who has the biggest house, the most lucrative job, or the greatest access to financial resources. What matters is whether […]
Read MoreWhat you need to know about the federal parental kidnapping law.
Posted July 25th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
You may be familiar with the Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act (PKPA), a federal law that turns 36 years old this year. You might think that because the PKPA is a “kidnap prevention” act, it can prevent a parent from abducting a child in violation of a court order. You might also think that the law […]
Read MoreHow healthy are the other members of your household?
Posted July 23rd, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
One often-overlooked factor in a child custody case is the health of the household. More specifically, a Family Court judge can inquire into how healthy the members of your household are. This includes any family member or resident who comes in regular contact with the children, such as live-in grandparents, half-brothers and half-sisters, other relatives, […]
Read MoreGet out of the smoke: Keep your kids away from chain-smoking parents.
Posted July 21st, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Here’s some first-hand advice about second-hand smoke: If you smoke in the presence of your child, you’re harming you chances for custody or visitation rights. If your ex-husband or ex-spouse is a smoker, he or she is also undermining his/her access rights to the child. In fact, the Ohio Court of Common Pleas, ruled as […]
Read MoreAlimony: How Much Can I Pay Now To Buy My Way Out of It Forever?
Posted July 20th, 2016.
Categories: Family Law, The Calculating Lawyer.
Oh no! The ugly “A” word —Alimony. It may be tax-deductible to the party paying it, and taxable to the party receiving it, but it’s controversial nevertheless. The spouse who is obligated to pay alimony often objects to the process of writing weekly or monthly checks to his ex-spouse, especially if his own financial situation […]
Read MoreDisrespect toward the court can weaken a custody case: Leveraging this point to your advantage.
Posted July 20th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Many years ago, in Kansas City, Missouri, a mother involved in a child custody dispute took issues into her own hands. The case was Shepard vs. Shepard, and the mother in this case had little respect for the orders of the court. To quote the judge in the case, “If they do not please or […]
Read MoreWho’s watching the kids while you’re at work?
Posted July 19th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Is it your mother or your father? Is it your overbearing sister? Maybe it’s the texting teenaged tomboy from around the corner. When was the last time you questioned who’s watching your children while you’re at work. In many child custody cases, parents fight hard to win the right of primary custodial parent….and then, they […]
Read MoreBefore you sign off on your custody agreement, consider these financial factors…
Posted July 18th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
How you divide custody and parenting time with the other parent is rarely based on financial considerations alone. Occasionally, however, there are some financial factors worth taking into consideration before you sign on the dotted line. Of course, one should never fight for custody or increased visitation rights on the belief that it will save […]
Read MoreRegister court orders when you move out of state.
Posted July 16th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Don’t forget to register your child custody and child support orders when you move out of state. Because family law is based on state law, your custody order or support order is not automatically recognized by the other 49 states in the union. If your custody and support orders are actually contained within your Final […]
Read MoreDon’t cry wolf without evidence. Unproven abuse allegations can backfire.
Posted July 15th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
If you suspect that the other parent (or somebody in his or her household) is abusing your child, investigate the matter carefully and discretely. Don’t cry wolf and begin pointing fingers before you’ve double-checked and triple-checked the situation. Of course, you don’t want to ignore any serious allegation of child abuse, whether it’s physical, sexual, […]
Read MoreGet it on the record: Be sure to challenge sidebars and private conferences.
Posted July 14th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Family courts have good reason for dealing with issues informally from time to time. Family matters, after all, require a human touch. Sensitive issues, involving parents and children, may require some human “massaging” in ways that the formal rules of procedure and rules of evidence cannot always accomplish. Beware! Some family courts tend to break […]
Read MoreDon’t bring your children to court!
Posted July 13th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
First-time custody litigants sometimes think the judge should hear what their children have to say about the living arrangements. So they dress up their kids and shuttle them to the courthouse — ready to testify about which parent is most fit for the job, and which home they want to live in. Bad idea! Children […]
Read MoreDon’t relinquish custody for an extensive period of time
Posted July 12th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Life happens, and sometimes it becomes necessary for a parent to give up custody of the children for a period of time. Illness, family issues, work emergencies, and other personal developments may make it necessary for a biological parent to relinquish custody of the children to the other biological parent or to a family relative […]
Read MoreIf you relinquish in custody, don’t just get it in writing. Get a court order.
Posted July 11th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
If a crisis befalls you or your family and it is necessary to give up custody of your children for a short time, don’t settle for a flimsy written agreement between you and the person to whom you give the children. Too often, parents sign a notarized agreement with a relative or a friend, indicating […]
Read MoreDon’t let new spouses assume the role of new parents, at least not too quickly.
Posted July 10th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
When a parent who has custody of the children remarries, the new spouse may be inclined to step into the shoes of the other parent. If the other parents is missing in action, then a new spouse may provide a richer, more complete family environment for the sole custodial parent. In such cases, a new […]
Read MoreKeep an eye on the other parent’s driving record
Posted July 9th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
A bad driving record can be a big problem for a parent who has child custody or visitation rights. Speeding citations, careless driving, reckless driving, or worse yet, driving under the influence of alcohol — all of these offenses paint a scary picture about the parent’s level of responsibility behind the wheel. If the other […]
Read MoreThe Tender Years Doctrine is Officially Dead, But…
Posted July 8th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Many years ago, there was a rule known as the “Tender Years Doctrine,” by which the court presumed that the mother was the best person to be awarded custody of a young child. The theory was that young children, in their tender years, would best be cared for by their biological mothers. The tender years […]
Read MoreNever trade away custody or visitation rights for property
Posted July 7th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
It may seem strange to some parents, but occasionally when parents reach an impasse in dealing with their custody or visitation arrangements, one parent agrees to concede his rights in exchange for a financial benefit or an award of property. Assume for example that a custodial parent is fighting with her ex-husband over how often […]
Read MoreDon’t delay reporting instances of abandonment and neglect.
Posted July 6th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Timing is everything when it comes to reporting instances of abandonment, abuse or neglect by the other parent in a child custody case. If a parent is guilty of a minor indiscretion (or even a more serious act of parental misconduct), it must be reported or acted upon right away or it may be of […]
Read MoreAvoid cocktail party advice about custody and parenting time.
Posted July 5th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Behind the scenes, when lawyers are talking shop, one of the things they gripe about most are the clients who take advice from everybody but their attorneys. The most dangerous client, they say, is the one who listens to friends and strangers at cocktail parties, and then assumes the experiences of others in family court […]
Read MoreTake the Whole Neighborhood to the Fireworks.
Posted July 4th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
In a child custody case, one parent generally has custody or visitation rights on Independence Day. Like Memorial Day and Thanksgiving Day, our national anniversary on July 4th is often one of the holidays which parents bargain for – or fight over – in a custody dispute. If you have your child on July 4th, […]
Read MoreInvite the in-laws…..and your custody case will grow stronger over time.
Posted July 1st, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
It may seem contrary to popular experience, but inviting your mother-in-law and father-in-law to partake in child-related events may help you to win your custody case. Indeed, keeping the in-laws in the loop is evidence of your greater appreciation for maintaining a relationship between the children and their grandparents. In many families, we find friction […]
Read MoreReaction-Proofing Your Home Can Give You the Edge in a Custody Case.
Posted June 30th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Is your home contagious? Are there bugs, bacteria, mites, mold, dander, pollens and allergens in the air, in the cupboards, bathrooms or other nooks and crannies of your house? During the change in seasons, children are particularly susceptible to allergic reactions to these silent “infectors.” If you are a non-custodial parent, you should be especially […]
Read MoreConfirm every communication with an email, not just a phone call.
Posted June 29th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Let’s assume you have custody of the kids. This weekend, your ex is scheduled to have the children. Pickup is slated for Friday at 6 p.m., and the children are to be returned by Sunday at 6 p.m. Your ex wants to pick up the children at 4 p.m. this Friday, however, and you agree […]
Read MoreFour ways to get around the hearsay rule: They may help you win your case!
Posted June 28th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
The hearsay rule holds that out-of-court statements (whether written or spoken) cannot be admitted into evidence. In other words, a mother cannot testify what her neighbor has said in the past about her ex-husband in order to prove that her ex-husband is an unfit parent. If the mother wants the court to know what the […]
Read MoreDon’t lay a guilt trip on your kids
Posted June 27th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
There is a tendency among angry parents to make their children feel guilty for spending time with the other parent. The acrimony of a courtroom battle, the distress of dealing with an uncooperative parent and the anxiety, resentment and distrust following a separation or divorce can push a parent to super-impose her feelings onto the […]
Read MoreMaster the Hearsay Rule or you may lose vital evidence in your custody case.
Posted June 25th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
The Hearsay Rule is a fundamental rule of evidence that is often misunderstood. Unless you master this rule, you may find yourself unable to get important documents or testimony admitted into evidence. If such items are not admitted into evidence, it means that the judge cannot look at them, listen to them, or consider them […]
Read MoreDon’t switch school districts
Posted June 24th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
In a contested child custody case, judges often examine the history and experiences of the parents to determine whether they each provide a stable lifestyle for the children. The flip side is that judges tend to deny custody rights to parents who have demonstrated a history of instability or unpredictability. This is because the prevailing […]
Read MoreChild’s best interest = Parent’s best interest.
Posted June 23rd, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Look up any website on child custody and you’ll find that the most important consideration is the best interest of the child. Determining what’s in the child’s “best interest” is the answer to virtually every question in the field of child custody. Sometimes, however, what’s in the child’s best interest equals what’s in the parent’s […]
Read MoreAsk the judge to place the reasons for his ruling on the record
Posted June 22nd, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Family court judges come in many varieties. Some are short and sweet: “I’ve heard the evidence. I’m denying the motion. Custody will remain with the Plaintiff.” Others are more pensive and deliberative: They explain their reasoning and their rulings in detail. Others are cerebral and intellectual: They discuss their thinking about the issues on the […]
Read MoreConduct a background check on parties, witnesses and lawyers.
Posted June 21st, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Before you go to trial on a child custody case, you may find it very useful to conduct an online background check on the other parent, his or her lawyer, and their witnesses. In fact, a background check could be one of the most strategic maneuvers you take in preparation for the trial. An online […]
Read MoreDevelop one theory of your case, and stick with it.
Posted June 20th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Mary Jones went to court last week and told the judge that her ex-husband, Peter, is an alcoholic who drinks to excess 7 nights a week, and therefore, he should not have the kids. Before Peter could defend himself, Mary also stated that he was a workaholic, who never seems to have time for the […]
Read MoreDocument injuries suffered by your children while staying with the other parent.
Posted June 17th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
What’s going on at your ex-husband’s house? Or your ex-wife’s place? Why does your child show up at your place bruised and scratched after spending time with the other parent? If your child is regularly getting injured at the other parent’s home, you need to document it. Keep a journal detailing the dates of each […]
Read MoreWhen your kids talk in code, start deciphering. Their texting may be admissible in a custody case.
Posted June 16th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
When your son or daughter texts “P911” to a friend, it means “Urgent! Parent Alert.” PAW means “parents are watching” and PAL means “parents are listening.” And then there’s “MOS” — mother over shoulder. And the list goes on and on. Watch out! If your children are texting in code, it may be more confusing […]
Read MoreDon’t buy a dog to win a custody case
Posted June 15th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Puppies have a way of showing up around the holidays, but here’s a word of warning: Don’t buy a dog or cat to improve your chances of winning a child custody case. Family pets can become a child’s best friend, but when the child is shuffling from one home to another, many problems may ensue. […]
Read MoreHelp your kids start their own “business,” and you’ll be helping your own custody case along the way.
Posted June 14th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
You’re never too young to learn about free enterprise. Get your kids started early on understanding how a business runs. Help them set up their own lemonade stand, dog-walking business, pool cleaning service or car washing business. Teaching children the virtues and responsibilities of running a business is a valuable exercise even if you’re not […]
Read MorePrepare an exhibit binder for the judge
Posted June 13th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
One sure-fire way to impress the judge is to prepare a binder containing all of the exhibits you intend to present in your hearing or trial. One definite way to annoy the judge is come to court disorganized, with your papers disorganized, and without sufficient copies of his review. To make a winning presentation, follow […]
Read MoreHow to prove your ex is a compulsive antisocial masochist
Posted June 10th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
If the judge orders you and your ex-spouse (or ex-partner) to be tested by a psychologist as part of your child custody case, you may be given a test known as the Millon Clinical Multiaxial Inventory-III, known as the MCMI-III for short. The MCMI-III is one of a number of personality tests given to parents […]
Read MoreGet ready to be tested! Do you have the right personality for full custody of your children?
Posted June 9th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Your kids aren’t the only ones taking tests. If you’re fighting for primary custody, you may be required to take one or more psychological tests to determine if you have the appropriate personality for the job. Over the next few days, we’ll be talking about some of the most popular court-ordered tests that parents are […]
Read MoreYou’ve heard of Tit for Tat. Well, now there’s Tat for Tot.
Posted June 8th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
The old English expression “Tit for Tat” means this for that — if you did this to me, then I’m doing that to you. Equal retaliation! In a child custody case, however, you’d do better to think of the expression TAT for TOT. That’s because TAT stands for Thematic Apperception Test, and it is one […]
Read MoreWhat’s your child’s IQ, and how can that affect your right to custody?
Posted June 7th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Among the various psychological tests that may be given to your child in a custody case is a well-known IQ test known as the Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children (WISC). The revised version of the test, WISC-R, and the fourth edition of the test, WISC-IV, are often used to test children, ages 6 to 17, […]
Read MoreClick on the website for your children’s school. Collect program data and other valuable information for your custody case.
Posted June 6th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Nothing makes a parent shine in family court more than a detailed knowledge of his/her child’s schools and their academic programs. For this reason, it is important to click on the websites for your children’s school district as well as the individual schools your kids are attending. School websites are a fertile source of valuable […]
Read MoreSchedule one-on-one time with each of the siblings. By personalizing each relationship you strengthen your custody prospects
Posted June 3rd, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Busy parents with multiple children often think of their children as “the kids” — the two of them, or the three of them. Children always seem to exist in the plural. Who has “the kids” this weekend? Who’s watching “the kids”? What are “the kids” up to? The problem with thinking of the children as […]
Read MoreBuy your child memberships, especially in organizations that you belong to
Posted June 2nd, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Nothing works so well at teaching your child how highly you think of her as buying her a membership in the club or organization to which you belong. Of course, this may not always be possible, but wherever it is possible, sign your kids up too. Let’s say you belong to a local swim club […]
Read MoreLeverage sibling power to improve your chances in custody court
Posted June 1st, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Not only do the courts protect the rights of parents to have access to their children, but they also protect the rights of other family members to have such access. For example, grandparents’ rights have been protected for many years, although they have recently been weakened by a number of federal legal decisions and state […]
Read MoreDon’t be ambushed! Prevent surprise attacks with documents or witnesses you’ve never seen before
Posted May 31st, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
In the world of television, just as the trial is drawing to an end, the back door of the courtroom opens and in walks the surprise witness — the person who will save the day by giving testimony that nobody expected. That, of course, is TV Land. In the real world, such surprises are generally […]
Read MoreDon’t forget to ask for a “stay” if things don’t turn out right
Posted May 30th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Let’s say that you have a bad day in court. The judge simply doesn’t see things your way. At the end of the proceeding, the judge has taken away some of your time with the children and — in your opinion — made a decision that is contrary to the children’s best interests. One thing […]
Read MoreOrder transcripts from other proceedings to impeach the reputation of your opponent
Posted May 27th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
Fast forward to your custody trial. Your ex-husband (or ex-wife) is sitting on the witness stand. He testifies that he can provide the calmest, safest, most wholesome and most nurturing environment for the children. Now it’s time for cross-examination. You approach the witness and you have in your hands the transcript of his domestic violence […]
Read MoreGet to know your judge….before your hearing begins!
Posted May 26th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
By Gregory Keresztury, Esq. Guest Blogger One of the easiest ways to score early points with a judge, and to show the judge that you’re serious about your position, is to learn his or her preferred procedures prior to a hearing. In addition to learning a judge’s courtroom procedure, it is important to learn about […]
Read MoreUse “comp time” to make up for missed visitation and parenting time
Posted May 25th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
You’ve heard of “comp time” at work, but there’s also comp time in your child custody case. Comp time refers to compensatory time, or make-up time, with the children. You are entitled to comp time with the children if you’ve been denied time by the other parent. For example, let’s say that you’re the non-custodial […]
Read MoreFour ways to avoid a charge of custodial interference
Posted May 24th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
When a parent’s violation of a custody order is deliberate and willful, it may, in appropriate circumstances, warrant criminal charges under the crime of “custodial interference.” But there are a number of defenses to this crime, as discussed below. [See yesterday’s blog to learn more about the crime of “custodial interference”] First, a parent charged […]
Read MoreSome custody violations are a criminal offense
Posted May 23rd, 2016.
Categories: Criminal Defense, Custody Tips, Family Law.
Parents often file petitions and motions in court charging each other with disobeying the court’s custody and visitation orders. Usually, these petitions take the form of a civil contempt petition. In such contempt petitions, one parent is charging the other one with violating the custody plan, and is seeking a court order imposing sanctions on […]
Read MoreTwo things to include in any court order involving foreign parents
Posted May 20th, 2016.
Categories: Custody Tips, Family Law.
A surprising number of child custody cases these days involve at least one parent who comes from another country. The foreign-born parent often wishes to return to her country when the parties split up. Or she may want to make regular visits to her country with the children to visit the children’s grandparents, aunts and […]
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